A bad day at Hallmark

Have you found a card that TRULY stated what you REALLY want to say?  I know I am not  the only one who finds herself at the very last moment standing in the card isle at Target looking for that perfect mother's day card...you know the one that says "I'm buying this card out of guilt...guilt you've given me...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!"  I could come up with worse, but I'd feel guilty!  Well here are some cards that I'm sure you've wanted to send to someone in your life. Enjoy! And feel free to add your own!

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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

when I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it....

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you

have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have:
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you...

I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

that you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...,

would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

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Happy birthday! 

You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you keep your promise.

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We have been friends

for a very long time.

Let's say we stop!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side;

it's really good pay!

XOXO,

Moderngypsygirl.